Puppies and Arsenic Filled Gumdrops

Along with the infuriatingly GLACIAL PACE OF MOVEMENT that came along with Chris was a fluffer nugget puppy named Snoop. D-O-Double-G.

Snoop is the kid that gets in trouble in class because he's too smart for basic multiplication tables. He needs to juggle bone China with one paw, perform long division with decimals with the other, and jump up in down in concentric circles all at once to be adequately entertained.

 

God love him, Snoop is one enormous pain in the ass.

 

At the mere sight of a shoe or the reach for a set of keys, he loses his composure. Barking and whimpering and jumping and totally losing his freaking marbles. We have tried pheramone collars and mists, Quiet Moments calming tablets, a bark collar, and putting him in a different room while we work. A ROOM you proper dog owners say.

 

Why yes. Because two summers ago, during a thunderstorm during which Chris and I were away, Snoop took his tiny teeth and tried to chew himself out of his metal crate. Not only did he wreck his teeth, but he tried to jam his head out of the opening and instead pierced his neck with broken metal.

 

Sad and tragic, yes. But more than anything, infuriating and idiotic.

 

We moved him to the kitchen and put up a baby gate to keep him in. We then came home to find that he chewed the buttons and knob off of the dishwasher.

 

Chris and I can't sit next to each other on the couch, no. Snoop doesn't like it when people touch. Not when they touch anyone/thing that isn't him, anyway.

 

Snoop is an attention whore.

 

He's a 16lb ball of fluffy love and over enthusiasm. Surely, he is more human that canine.

 

He understands calendars- predicting which days and times we will leave for work. He anticipates goodbye kisses in the morning and bedtime cuddling. If Chris and I scoot too close?

 

OH NO YOU DON'T, HUMANS!

 

Snoop will throw his entire body down in between mine and Chris's. No joke. A canine cock block.

 

Sigh.

 

Guys. Real dog owners. Miracle Workers. Save me. Snoop is the asshole step child I never really asked for and now have to deal with his bad behavior. I love him endlessly: he's funny and loving and full of character. But his bad behavior actually changes the tone of our day. Snoop is our fur baby- the most doted on member of our family trio-- but another decade with this snippy, yappy, chaotic interruption of human life is unfathomable.

 

 

Terrier Tuesday

Alright, so Drake is no Terrier. But I couldn't stand to wait for Furry Friends Friday or Wet-Nosed Wednesday to share this shamrock of love with you all.

I was so blown-over by the response last week to a simple Pinning of the beautiful, loving Ava and her special need for a compassionate home. Not only did Ava find a home in a matter of hours, but so did fourteen other dogs.

There's always another four-legged friend that needs a home. Feast your eyes on Drake:

Drake is better than all of the marshmallows in a Lucky Charms box combined.

Better than the gold in the pot at the end of a double rainbow.

Drake IS a cupcake frosted in rainbows and a game Duck Duck Goose.

He's bounding with energy and would make a most loving, energetic running partner and buddy. Drake is someone's canine soulmate, we simply have to help him find his human rescuer! (you can find him through Secondhand Hounds)

Breeders are for Westminster. You're a Real Person. Woof!

If you live in the Minneapolis area-- or Wisconsin or Iowa or Dutch Pennsylvania for all I care-- never forget adoption when adding a four-legged member to your lifescape.

Two weeks before departing for her freshman year of college, my dearest sister Lo arrived home with the most darling puppy. A 3 month old half Husky, half black lab puppy named Lilly. She found her at the Humane Society and thought HEY! Let me make this 12 year commitment right as I'm about to go live in a shoebox sized, cinder block youth hostel for four years!

Ah, to be young and a moron.

Our dad threatened to return the dog for weeks and we all sobbed and cried with hysteria. It took him a while, but he finally accepted Lilly. Who is also known as Lillybean. Who is also known as the Princess of All Living Things, second in command only to Katie B., may she rest in peace, Queen of All Living Things.

She was the original gangster of canine royalty in our family.

Lilly makes Lassie look like a real half-assed family member. She knows when you need a hug and even leans in when you reach out for a squeeze. She'll sleep at your feet out of protection and adoration, but won't maul you with a slobbery tennis ball. She's well mannered and playful and honest to God, if the Mayan Calendar is correct, I want to die by her side.

Of her litter, Lilly was the last to be adopted. We know in our hearts that Lilly knows in her's that we rescued her. She repays us infinitely each and every day.

Ava is in foster care and comes with special needs
and, I'm certain, a very special kind of
 love and companionship to offer her rescuers.

There are plenty of studies that suggest to us humans that the dogs we rescue love us even better because they KNOW that we were their savior.

Don't get me started on religious saviors, but animal saviors I'm all sorts of into.


Bob Barker asked us to help control the pet population for decades, but we all know that the people that need to hear that message probably aren't watching The Price is Right. So here we are and here are all of these dogs so desperately in need of homes.

Also, try to remember when looking at the puppies that puppies, like those darn babies, grow up. Puppies pee and chew and nip at little fingers: if you're at work all day and can't properly house train a puppy, consider a dog. If you have small children that will throw blocks and play on the floor, consider a dog. The companionship is the same and it is often DOGS, not puppies, that most desperately need placement.

They will love you as you've never been loved before.

And even if you cannot commit to owning the animal indefinitely, consider fostering one. It's the no-strings-attached sex you loved BUT with all sorts of cuddling and kissing.

We all know about the Humane Society, and they certainly are wonderful. I like underdogs though-- Secondhand Hounds belongs to the sibling of a friend of our's and they're doing lovely things.

Not only do all dogs go to heaven, but most certainly those that do the tireless work of trying to save them do as well.