Wednesday, March 7, 2012

So Easy, Even Your Idiot Brother Could Do It

Does everybody have a blog?

Does everyone have a "lifestyle" worth Pinning about and pining after?

I swear, blogging has given the cool kids another "W" for their self approval talley board.

Listen, I dont weigh 98lbs and blog about scones and wildflowers and my law school husband. I dont wear impossibly cute outfits or go to Crossfit between tea parties and happy hour while noshing on 7 Skittles once every 36 hours. My life is the Paris Hilton of sex tapes: uneventful and uninspiring.

Nothing about my life is lofty or fluffy and oh yeah, I'm not full of shit and trying to blow smoke up everyone's ass about the fairytale fantasticness of my life either.

Sometimes, the extreme boringness of my life makes me wonder why I bother blogging at all anymore. I'm not single and dancing on bartops and I'm not married with adorable children and stories of preschool hilarity either. Hell, I'm contractually no longer even allowed to tell tales of toddler antics and child rearing mishaps at all.

Total and complete Nanny Gag Order. And I gotta tell you, Internet people, I have it so good here that I'm not even going to turn up my nose or flip out my middle finger at the hushing of my employment experience.

Chris and I are so stable that it makes me want to pick a fight over toilet seats or him making eyes at the Applebees waitress simply to have something other than pleasantries and snarky jokes about the idiocincracies about one another that we find so annoying yet oh so endearing to talk about. We go to work. We come home. We like walking the dog on Friday nights and talking about the week. On Saturday, I wake up at 7am to go to the gym and the Co-Op and eat my favorite Veggie Overload pizza with my once weekly Diet Coke splurge.

I imagine it's somewhere between my overhead press and hill sprints that Chris heads out to the golf store. Actually, every golf store. To stare at shit he has already seen and stared at on eBay all week. This is what I know to be the BORE SNORE of shopping tours.

The most titillating event of the past six months came last week when I decided to change my hair color to brewery brown from Malibu Barbie blonde.

And I have to say, I hate it entirely.

I used to change my hair color every other month: hot pink, black, cherry red with bleach bangs. But this time, I looked in the mirror and thought..nope, not me. Not anymore.

My hair- my skin- feels so comfortable, so consistently who I've become that it feels insincere to not be blonde and bubbly and excited to do nothing more on Friday night than wear my pajamas and watch Gold Rush while shoving Sesame Chicken in my mouth. With a fork.

Maybe real adulthood isn't much different from childhood afterall. If the principal doesn't call, if the dentist doesn't have cavities to report, if they're just upstairs playing Wii and coloring, it's alright.

Maybe no news is good indeed.

1 comment:

  1. It sounds to me like you're in a perfect, awesome place in life. As much as I love my girls I often find myself living vicariously through others who waited a bit and enjoyed their "free" 20s. I know I struggle with the whole blog thing too. I try to be honest and know I have enough MY LIFE SUCKS! posts to justify the roses coming out of my butt ones. I see those "perfect" people you speak of and have my moments of utter jealousy too. sometimes I wallow in it for a bit. I think that's ok. For what it's worth I think your life sounds amazing what you DO sounds amazing, your home and your boy sound amazing, and your new hair color? the bomb (I'd say "da" but that's just going too far). sounds like you have it all. It's ok, great even to just be happy.


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